Sometimes in life we reach a turning point, a fork in the road. We know that we can allow ourselves to be complacent and comfortable, settle into our same-old same, and cease the search for more and better. We all know that tricky feeling of "maybe this is as good as it gets, maybe this is where I'm supposed to be." Many of us fear leaving that comfort behind, even if only temporarily, to challenge our own beliefs and views, to open our eyes to new experiences and horizons, and to push ourselves to change, grow, adapt, learn, pray, trust, ask for help, and forgive.
Even when we do have it good and are thankful for our situations and the people and blessings in our lives, we are still painfully human. What I mean is, no matter how much gratitude we practice, no matter how well we think we embody or deserve all that we have, we can be utterly oblivious to the obstacles that we put in our own way of truly and responsibly living and loving with everything we have.
Yes, I said the obstacles that we put in our way. In that familiar place of complacency, we fool ourselves. We naively think we're doing the best we can. But in that belief we can be our own worst enemies. We're rarely doing the best that we can. There's always room to do better, there's a limitless amount of space that will allow each of us to grow beyond our wildest dreams and make our lives more than we could've ever imagined. But instead of embracing and owning where and who we are, we allow ourselves to walk around thinking we're bigger than we are because we find comfort in that and because it covers up our fear of failing to meet our own expectations and make our dreams reality.
That sense of frustration we feel, that internal conflict and struggle we face when things don't go our way, that's a message. And too often we cross our own wires to prevent the message from getting through. Whether it's inconvenient or painful or flattening or dismantling, we protect our pride and our egos, we protect our hearts, and we limit our potential and rob the ones that we love of our true hearts. When we blame circumstance and others, when we internalize and withdraw, when we defend and fight, we put up walls and we disgrace ourselves. That is the opposite of humility and openness, two essential elements of growth and happiness.
Sometimes, in order to break out of the denial we're wrapped in, we have to make drastic changes in our lives. We have to rip the fabric of routine and familiarity in order to give ourselves room to receive, to awaken, to enlighten, to cleanse, to let go, to rejuvenate, to open, and to see. When we make ourselves uncomfortable and force ourselves to adapt, dig deep, and find strength, then healing and self-love become possible. Only when we cultivate an environment of change can our senses and mind be heightened in ways we didn't know we needed.
Whether we remove ourselves from a shaky equation and cut it in half, hoping to reunite its factors and solidify it, risking losing that half of ourselves forever; whether we close a chapter in our story that hurts to leave behind in order to be able to turn a new page; whether we open old wounds and let them bleed so that they can finally heal, instead of continuing to bandage and ignore them; whether we finally begin to embrace where we've been and what we've done and own our truths instead of being ashamed of our scars and mistakes...
When we do any of these things, we hit the reset button.
Insert your own metaphor here, but failure to do the work necessary to facilitate your own blossoming is to deny yourself an opportunity for true happiness, to steal from yourself an encounter with unconditional love. So be thankful for the pain, because it will fade away and refresh you. Pain is temporary, and it will only make you stronger. Be thankful for the chance to feel and to understand and to see clearly. Be thankful for the opportunity to see that yes, you may have been wrong. You may have hurt people. You may have screwed up. But that path led you to this moment to make peace with that, own it, and make your future different. And in doing so, you can really give yourself to the ones you love, and the ones who are still standing there loving you, in the way that they desire and deserve.
Be thankful for the struggles. They are some of the biggest blessings of all. And be thankful for the chance to hit the reset button.
I hope it all works out for you, Jess! Know that I will always love you unconditionally, no matter what.
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